More zine reviews (because YOU asked for it)

Long Gone Loser #14: Editor Damo’s claim that this is Australia’s ONLY rock’n’roll magazine may be stretching the truth a little, but that’s the only complaint when it comes to this damn fine publication. Classy production values are just the icing on the cake – the real eating’s on the inside. There are interviews with Mitch O’Connell, New York Dolls, Manowar and ex-WWE writer and screenwriter Dan Madigan on the greatness of lucha libre. Plus reviews and “lotsa rants”. Maybe not the ONLY, but definitely the BEST rock’n’roll mag in Australia. Long Gone Loser, PO Box 18, Modbury North, SA, 5092 AUSTRALIA damo@longgoneloser.com www.longgoneloser.com [AUD$5 for p&h or e-mail for details if from overseas 60M :60] – Dann Lennard

Bizarrism #10: Drop your pens, Stanley knives and rinky-dink clip art, because the best zine in the world (that’s right, mofos, the FUGGIN’ WORLD!) is here and we are naught but lowly dogshite in its presence. Brilliant writer and modern boho Chris Mikul (plus a few talented friends) presents more stories on the strangest, most fascinating people you’ve probably never heard of. There’s the 1930s mystery surrounding the disappearance/murder of the outlandish baroness of the Galapagos Islands; plus bios on eccentric (and venomous) author Amanda M. Ros, extreme philosopher Ladislav Klima (who makes Steve-O look like a jackass) and tragic pop singer (and possible murderess) Claudine Longet. Simply put, you will regret every moment you do not have this zine in your possession. Buy it now. Chris Mikul, PO Box K546, Haymarket, NSW, 1240, AUSTRALIA cathob@zip.com.au [AUD$6 or US$8 outside Australia 40M :60+] – Dann Lennard

They're baaaaaaack.......

WHY do I love these foxy fuck-ups? I have no idea. First up, it's Lindsay Lohan (above), fresh out of rehab and desperately trying to rehabilitate her movie career. Here she is recently in a dress about six inches too short for her (which is why I love this shot).

I'VE never liked Hulk Hogan and I shouldn't like his daughter Brooke Hogan either. That masculine jaw, however, does something for me. Maybe it's the Chyna vibe she has going - what can I say? I love the tranny body builder look.

Another older woman I'd like to pork...

ACTRESS Julieanne Moore, seen here in Vogue magazine.

Helen Mirren in Italy

THE esteemed British actress is 63............and, yes. I would soooooo tap that. :D

Action Barbies have never looked so cool

THIS is Superman from series one of the JLA: The New Frontier range of action figures. They've been around for a while now, but I still thought you should see them.
How fucken cool is this figure? It looks exactly like Darwyn Cooke's drawings. I have the complete series one and two action figures and they all freaking rule!

Seriously, the only line of figures cooler than these are the New Gods line, based on Jack Kirby's art. Now they are SERIOUSLY FUCKEN AWESOME!

Lily Allen in Cannes earlier this year...

YEP, Lily Allen on one side of the bed and Kate Pierson on the other. I could so see myself in the middle of that (sorry, Helen).

Is this the B-52s' Kate Pierson?

I SURE as hell hope so! Goddamn! I loves me a natural redhead! :D

This is the latest controversy on the Internet and some people are questioning whether it really is the lovely Kate or not. Peraonally, I think it is (I wish! I wish! I wish! I wish!)
Here's the full story from fat fuck Perez Hilton on his blog:
"Firecrotch alert! You're never too old to have some naked pics leak, right? This photo of B-52s singer Kate Pierson was allegedly taken by a former lover, who has seen fallen on the outs with the red head and purposefully leaked this photo from a few years back. Hey, her body still looks bangin'. So, rock on, say we!"

Me, too! I want some of that CANDY. I wanna ROAM in her nether regions and turn it into MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO. And then we'll get funky in her LOVE SHACK. And...

...erm, that enough crap B-52s puns, I think. Sorry.

Creepy stalkerish post of the day...

HEADS up to roller derby fan Jeff Zinger who gave me a link to Elle Bowes’ MySpace page (www.myspace.com/123slam).

Ontario babe Elle is quite possibly the perfect woman: apart from being a roller derby queen, she’s also a burlesque dancer and pin-up model. “I’m more than likely to be found strappin’ on skates, posing in front of a camera or shakin’ my stuff on stage or at a show,” the self-described pint-sized hellraiser reveals on her site.“I love rhinstones, tassels, killer gams, big eyelashes, new wheels, fishnet-burn from the concrete of our home track, whipping my derby ladies around the track, bruises, ruby-red lipstick, glittery diamonds, shutterbugs, pearls, heels (the higher the heel, the closer to God), gin, doghouse bass, roller derby, subgenius, rockabilly, baking and swing dancing.”
Yowser!
It doesn’t stop there, trend-setters. Amont other things, Elle’s into thrift stores (second-hand shops to us Aussies), zombies, booze (!!), “obscurities and obscenities”.
Fave movies? “Anything with gore, blood, zombies, nudity, mutants, boobs, drugs, nice cars, more blood, disfigured men with machetes, beautiful women, chainsaws or blow torches.”
Her fave TV show is UFC!
And the song playing on her page? Nice Tits by The Blue Demons.
Be still my beating heart…I think I’m in love.

REVIEW: Freaks And Fantasies by Tod Robbins

I RECENTLY read and enjoyed Freaks And Fantasies, edited by Sydney's resident bizarrism expert Chris Mikul.

It features some brilliant short yarns - quintessential early 20th century horror prose - by Tod Robbins, including his original story "Spurs", which inspired Tod Browning's 1932 creepy classic Freaks. “Spurs” is, in fact, much darker than the film.

Other stories I dug were “Wild Wullie The Waster”, “Toys Of Fate” and, especially, “The Confession” (which, frankly, scared the hell out of me).

If you want your to find out more about a forgotten master of fear fiction, then you can buy Freaks And Fantasies from www.ramblehouse.com.

More zine reviews that you should read

I WROTE these reviews for an upcoming issue of Zine World magazine:

PEE #41: Another fine issue of this punk rock zine from Adelaide featuring colour covers, a free CD and fistful of stickers for close to nix. Inside there are interviews with Watch Your Step, Killing Kings, Lungs, Beserk and a bunch of other bands I’ve never heard of. Plus comic strips, reviews and a look at the art of Ken Stewart. Punk fans will approve. PEE, Pete Pee, PO Box 238, Marden, SA, 5070 AUSTRALIA zine@peerecords.com www.peerecords.com [AUD$6.50 or e-mail for details if from overseas 60M :20] – Dann Lennard

Wrestling Observer Newsletter (June 16, 2008): Who knew pro-wrestling and MMA could be discussed in an intelligent manner? Yet that’s what editor Dave Meltzer has been doing on a weekly basis for the past 25 years. This particular issue covers industry news from around the world including reviews on TNA Slammiversary PPV, UFC 85 from London and the new documentary Bigger, Faster, Stronger, which looks at steroid use in America. Also, Dave examines why Vince McMahon’s weekly million-dollar giveaway on WWE RAW was such a ratings flop. Smart, insightful and occasionally jaw-dropping journalism. Wrestling Observer Newsletter, Dave Meltzer, PO Box 1228, Campbell, CA 95009-1228, hsmeltzer@juno.com, www.f4wonline.com/ $12 for 4 issues, $29 for 12, $55 for 24, $91 for 40 and $118 for 52. E-mail for details if from overseas 18M 1:30] – Dann Lennard

Nicola Hardy…Is Updating Her Status And Dreaming About Car Accidents: Nicola is a graphic designer, a life model and an artist. She also writes achingly beautiful prose. This one-shot features some of her best work, most autobiographical. Her best piece by far is twenny fucken 1, a sobering look at Nicola’s life at that age. I think I would’ve been a little bit scared of her if I’d met her when she was 21. Nicola Hardy, PO Box 2073, Graceville East, Qld, 4075, AUSTRALIA, nicola@secretenvelope.com, www.secretenvelope.blogspot.com [AUD$2 for postage 24S :30] – Dann Lennard

Das Klein Büdchen Blättchen: A büdchen – for all you non-German speakers – is a small kiosk that sells stuff like papers and cigarettes. The büdchen in question belongs to Nicola’s boyfriend Chill Phil and it’s basically a bar he runs in his living room in Hamburg. This little zine details in pictures and hilarious words the birth and development of their relationship (whirlwind in Hamburg, now long-distance, soon to be reunited in Australia). Nic and Phil prove that love is truly grand. Nicola Hardy, PO Box 2073, Graceville East, Qld, 4075, AUSTRALIA, nicola@secretenvelope.com, www.secretenvelope.blogspot.com [AUD$10 8M :20] – Dann Lennard

Die Hard 4.0: A Guide To The Film In Comic Format: Nic’s art is simple but to the point and so is her review. I think she likes Bruce Willis’s latest action epic, but not as much as Dogs In Space. Nicola Hardy, PO Box 2073, Graceville East, Qld, 4075, AUSTRALIA, nicola@secretenvelope.com, www.secretenvelope.blogspot.com [AUD$2 for postage 12XS :05] – Dann Lennard

Cubby-House Stories #1: Nicola’s cute-as comic chronicles one drunken night in Antwerp. It contains a bonus 16-page comic that’s EVEN SMALLER than the main comic. Does that make it XXS? Anyway, I love Nic’s art and you will, too. Nicola Hardy, PO Box 2073, Graceville East, Qld, 4075, AUSTRALIA, nicola@secretenvelope.com, www.secretenvelope.blogspot.com [AUD$2 for postage 12XS :10] – Dann Lennard

Feminista #1: Classic cut’n’paste zine, this one with natural remedies for skin care, vegetarian recipes, punk band interviews, poems and short articles. It’ll appeal to somebody out there, I guess, but not this meat-eating old bastard. Feminista, 189 Churchill Rd, Prospect, SA, 5082, AUSTRALIA [AUD$2 36S :10] – Dann Lennard

Feminista #2: More of the same. Can I just add here that kangaroo meat is both low in fat and high in iron? Something to think about, vegetarians. Feminista, 189 Churchill Rd, Prospect, SA, 5082, AUSTRALIA [AUD$2 36S :10] – Dann Lennard

Corrupt Me! #1: A zine about bad movies, bad music and bad taste. That should make this a good mag, but it somehow falls short for me. I guess I’ve seen it all before and I’ve seen it done a lot better, too. This ish covers the punk scene in Western Australia, features a Bob Clark obit and the obligatory reviews. Corrupt Me!, PO Box 3082, Rundle Mall, Adelaide, SA, 5000, AUSTRALIA [AUD$2 for postage 28S :15] – Dann Lennard

Corrupt Me! #2: Some zines take a few issues to settle down and that appears to be the case here. #2 kicks off in fine form with a review of Clint Eastwood’s brilliant movie double Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can, then follows up with an overview of the Basket Case horror series and a look at legendary Adelaide punk band Kamikaze. Not too shabby. Corrupt Me!, PO Box 3082, Rundle Mall, Adelaide, SA, 5000, AUSTRALIA [AUD$2 for postage 28S :15] – Dann Lennard

Sprak! Vol. 2 #3: Another load of well-written reviews by Kami and friends on the sorta movies that make drunken video watching sessions such a joy. Notorious Cleopatra, Voices From Beyond, The Groove Tube, Food Of The Gods, Wrestlemaniac…if you recognise any of those titles, then this zine is for you. SPRAK!, Kami, PO Box 278, Edwardstown, SA, 5039, AUSTRALIA myspace.com/tappingthesauce [AUD$2 for postage 32S :30] – Dann Lennard

Healter Skelter #01: The 60s and failed revolution, man – that era fascinates Kami and this publication may well fascinate and amuse you, too. Street protest literature, Charles Manson, Noam Chomsky and more reasons why the 60s was such a pile of bullshit. Ask nicely and Kami will probably also throw in some extra pamphlets featuring Manson’s trial testimony from 1970, Black Panthers fashion and propaganda. Kami, PO Box 278, Edwardstown, SA, 5039, AUSTRALIA myspace.com/tappingthesauce [AUD$2 for postage 12S :30] – Dann Lennard

Narcolepsy Press Review #3: I highly recommend that other zinesters send their publications to Randy. I get a ton of feedback from people (mainly scumbag prisoners, I’ll admit) who say they’ve read a review of my zine in NPR. It really is becoming a powerful lil’ publication out there. And the reviews are thoughtful, well-written and fair. Can’t ask for any more than that in a review zine. Randy Robbins, PO Box 17131, Anaheim, CA, 92817-7131 [$2 32S :30] – Dann Lennard

Word Balloons #7: Comics fans – even from overseas – should get their hands on this classy publication. This ish features an interview with Aussie artist Nicki Greenberg who recently had her graphic novel interpretation of The Great Gatsby released by a major book publisher. Phil also continues his multi-part “My Life In Comics” series – this installment focuses on Phil’s involvement with Inkspots, an indy comic with European sensibilities from the early 80s, which had a far-reaching effect on the alternative comic scene in Australia. Philip Bentley, PO Box 286, Sandringham, Vic, 3191, AUSTRALIA secondshore@yahoo.com [AUD$5 24M :45] – Dann Lennard

Roctober #44: It’s been way too long between issues – over a year by my reckoning. Thankfully, Jake’s back with a garish cover and far too much musical goodness to touch on in one short review. There are oodles of obit pieces on James Brown, a disturbing piece about Lenny Bruce (it reveals far more about the author than the comedian), and Nardwuar interviews Snoop Doggy Dogg and Ice-T. I could go on and on. Let’s just say, this zine rawks! Jake Austen, 1507 E.53rd St. #617, Chicago, IL, 60615, USA, info@roctober.com, www.roctober.com [$4 116M 2:00+] – Dann Lennard

Nerf Jihad – The Collected Works: The cream of the first five issues of this underrated Aussie zine has been gathered together by Matt and it makes for one excellent, meaty publication. Much of it consists of Matt’s demented letters to various food companies and semi-famous Aussie celebrities, generally where he insults them while still seeking free food samples and autographs, respectively. But it’s Matt’s longer pieces that show his true genius. A typical story title: “How I Was Responsible For My Entire School Thinking Scottie Pippen Was There”. Very funny stuff. Matt, PO Box 575, Gosford, NSW, 2250, AUSTRALIA mattdicknose@yahoo.com.au www.nerfjihad.net [AUD$5 for postage 64S :45] – Dann Lennard

For more great reviews by me (and others), buy Zine World: A Reader's Guide To The Underground Press (PO Box 330156, Murfreesboro TN 37133, USA; www.undergroundpress.org).

Supanova: almost $200 worth of happiness

Ben Templesmith

IT'S been a while since I last went to a big comics convention. The last one - involving a topless model dressed as Wonder Woman, an irate organiser and a legal letter from DC Comics - ended in tears and I haven't been too keen to go back to another one.

Until this year's Supanova Pop Culture Expo in Sydney.

The three-day event ran from June 20-22 at Olympic Park and, as I only live about 10 minutes away, I thought I'd drop in for an hour or two on Sunday arvo.

To be honest, the only reason I was going - apart from catching up with mates Cam and AW - was to get an art book signed by Perth artist extraordinaire Ben Templesmith (30 Days Of Night, Fell, etc), a bloke I'd interviewed for People back in 2006.

As I walked in I was astounded by the high number of NERDS on show. Serious NERDS!!

Most of them were dressed as manga characters and looked really stupid, especially the blokes. Actually, no. They looked really stupid AND really gay. In fact, the expo seemed to be very gaming and manga-oriented. I circumnavigated the freaks and headed to Artists' Alley to see some of the local comics product.

First up, I scored free copies of The Southern Squadron: Hold On To Your Braincells! and The Dark Nebula: The Chaos War, two of eight TPBs released this year collecting some classic Aussie superhero comics from the early 80s. It was nice to see work by Glenn Lumsden, David De Vries, Gary Chaloner and others given the classy full-colour treatment. The books have been put out by Dark Nebula creator Tad Pietrzykowski.

Tad P. as The Dark Nebula

Tad was an enthusiastic dude and I chatted to him for a good 20 minutes. I promised to plug his TPBs in People and was on my way. Check them out for yourself at www.thedarknebula.com.

Next stop was Marcelo Baez (www.littlehammer.com) and Diabla: A Dragon's Tale, the latest issue featuring his demonic heroine. I also swung past Wayne Nichols - who's recently done work overseas on Star Wars and The Incredible Hulk - and picked up an art portfolio and the first issue of Kate Lawson And The Ship Of Lost Souls (which reminded me of a 60s-style Aussie comic, all ghosts and villains and dumb cops and not a superhero in sight).

The two lasses above have nothing to do with the Australasian Wrestling Federation (I think), but they're standing in front of the wrestling ring so I'm running this pic. Anyway, I saw a few minutes of godawful rasslin'. Seriously, the AWF has some of the worst prelim wrestlers in Australia. Still, it was nice saying hi to TNT and JT Robinson, two top workers in the fed.

Then it was off to the big guest stars' booth, not to see US artists Howard Chaykin or Joe Jusko, but to get Ben Templesmith's autograph. And I did...after he'd spent 10 minutes doing a nice Predator sketch for an ungrateful slapper with big tits (she didn't even thank him). And Ben doesn't even DRAW Predator, for fug's sake! Jesus, some people have no manners.

I was next in line, so he signed the book - noting the pretentiousness of the spelling of "Dann" - and that was it...almost. I'd earlier noticed Ben was selling some of his original art so, after a quick trip to the ATM, I came back and bought a $150 B&W illo of a broad with a sword. He seemed pleasantly surprised that I was willing to fork over such serious dough...hell, he even signed it for me. Ben Templesmith, you're a class act, Sir.

As for Supanova, well...it wasn't too bad. When you throw in the original sketch, the comics, entry fee, parking and road tolls, I got out of the arvo with change from $200. That's not too shabby a price to pay for one's happiness, my friends.