MOVIE PREVIEW: Hostel (released February 23)

ELI ROTH cut his horror teeth writing and directing 2002’s gross-out classic Cabin Fever, the tale of five camping buddies affected by a flesh-eating virus.
In his follow-up effort, Roth ups the “sicko” factor but Hostel suffers from one big problem: it isn’t scary. Gotta lotta tits though.
In fact, the first half of the film seems more like an 80s sex comedy as two Yank backpackers Paxton (Jay Hernandez) and Josh (Derek Richardson) - along with their crazy Icelandic mate Oli (Eythor Gudjonsson) - try to shag as many hot chicks as possible in Amsterdam, then later in a small-town hostel in Slovakia…where they’ve been reliably informed there are loads of hot, horny babes gagging for backpacker cock.
But after their boobs’n’bums-filled first night, Paxton and Josh discover Oli’s gone missing and the film quickly turns very dark.
The lads soon discover some of the locals are running a torture’n’murder-for-money business for rich psychos…and they’ve been earmarked as the newest victims.
What follows is a non-stop orgy of severed toes, drilled kneecaps and blowtorched eyeballs, but there’s very little tension or terror among the sadism.
Final word: Gore’n’tit-fest that’ll do wonders for the Slovak tourism industry.

DVD REVIEW: High Tension

High Tension (rated R in Oz)/available for rent Feb. 15, 2006

I FIRST saw a trailer for this gory French horror flick while in the US last year and it was funny how they didn’t show anyone talking during the ad - I guess the distributors didn’t wanna scare away Yank fans by revealing it was a…gasp!…foreign film with subtitles.
Frankly, I don’t know why they bothered - High Tension’s plot is so easy to understand you don’t need to “read” the dialogue to follow proceedings.
College mates Marie (Cécile De France) and Alex (Maïwenn) drive to Alex’s parent’s isolated farm for a holiday. No sooner do they get there than a homicidal maniac brutally murders Alex’s family and kidnaps her.
Only Marie survives the carnage and now it’s up to the feisty, short-haired spunk to rescue her friend from death - or possibly a fate worse than that.
High Tension’s a grisly, well-filmed terror ride spoiled by a piss-weak “shock” ending that kinda ruins everything that went before it.
If you can ignore the crap conclusion, the DVD’s still worth checking out.
Final word: Who woulda thought a cute chick wielding a power saw could look so sexy?