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More zine reviews (because YOU asked for it)

Long Gone Loser #14: Editor Damo’s claim that this is Australia’s ONLY rock’n’roll magazine may be stretching the truth a little, but that’s the only complaint when it comes to this damn fine publication. Classy production values are just the icing on the cake – the real eating’s on the inside. There are interviews with Mitch O’Connell, New York Dolls, Manowar and ex-WWE writer and screenwriter Dan Madigan on the greatness of lucha libre. Plus reviews and “lotsa rants”. Maybe not the ONLY, but definitely the BEST rock’n’roll mag in Australia. Long Gone Loser, PO Box 18, Modbury North, SA, 5092 AUSTRALIA damo@longgoneloser.com www.longgoneloser.com [AUD$5 for p&h or e-mail for details if from overseas 60M :60] – Dann Lennard

Bizarrism #10: Drop your pens, Stanley knives and rinky-dink clip art, because the best zine in the world (that’s right, mofos, the FUGGIN’ WORLD!) is here and we are naught but lowly dogshite in its presence. Brilliant writer and modern boho Chris Mikul (plus a few talented friends) presents more stories on the strangest, most fascinating people you’ve probably never heard of. There’s the 1930s mystery surrounding the disappearance/murder of the outlandish baroness of the Galapagos Islands; plus bios on eccentric (and venomous) author Amanda M. Ros, extreme philosopher Ladislav Klima (who makes Steve-O look like a jackass) and tragic pop singer (and possible murderess) Claudine Longet. Simply put, you will regret every moment you do not have this zine in your possession. Buy it now. Chris Mikul, PO Box K546, Haymarket, NSW, 1240, AUSTRALIA cathob@zip.com.au [AUD$6 or US$8 outside Australia 40M :60+] – Dann Lennard

They're baaaaaaack.......

WHY do I love these foxy fuck-ups? I have no idea. First up, it's Lindsay Lohan (above), fresh out of rehab and desperately trying to rehabilitate her movie career. Here she is recently in a dress about six inches too short for her (which is why I love this shot).

I'VE never liked Hulk Hogan and I shouldn't like his daughter Brooke Hogan either. That masculine jaw, however, does something for me. Maybe it's the Chyna vibe she has going - what can I say? I love the tranny body builder look.

Another older woman I'd like to pork...

ACTRESS Julieanne Moore, seen here in Vogue magazine.

Helen Mirren in Italy

THE esteemed British actress is 63............and, yes. I would soooooo tap that. :D

Action Barbies have never looked so cool

THIS is Superman from series one of the JLA: The New Frontier range of action figures. They've been around for a while now, but I still thought you should see them.
How fucken cool is this figure? It looks exactly like Darwyn Cooke's drawings. I have the complete series one and two action figures and they all freaking rule!

Seriously, the only line of figures cooler than these are the New Gods line, based on Jack Kirby's art. Now they are SERIOUSLY FUCKEN AWESOME!

Lily Allen in Cannes earlier this year...

YEP, Lily Allen on one side of the bed and Kate Pierson on the other. I could so see myself in the middle of that (sorry, Helen).

Is this the B-52s' Kate Pierson?

I SURE as hell hope so! Goddamn! I loves me a natural redhead! :D

This is the latest controversy on the Internet and some people are questioning whether it really is the lovely Kate or not. Peraonally, I think it is (I wish! I wish! I wish! I wish!)
Here's the full story from fat fuck Perez Hilton on his blog:
"Firecrotch alert! You're never too old to have some naked pics leak, right? This photo of B-52s singer Kate Pierson was allegedly taken by a former lover, who has seen fallen on the outs with the red head and purposefully leaked this photo from a few years back. Hey, her body still looks bangin'. So, rock on, say we!"

Me, too! I want some of that CANDY. I wanna ROAM in her nether regions and turn it into MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO. And then we'll get funky in her LOVE SHACK. And...

...erm, that enough crap B-52s puns, I think. Sorry.

Creepy stalkerish post of the day...

HEADS up to roller derby fan Jeff Zinger who gave me a link to Elle Bowes’ MySpace page (www.myspace.com/123slam).

Ontario babe Elle is quite possibly the perfect woman: apart from being a roller derby queen, she’s also a burlesque dancer and pin-up model. “I’m more than likely to be found strappin’ on skates, posing in front of a camera or shakin’ my stuff on stage or at a show,” the self-described pint-sized hellraiser reveals on her site.“I love rhinstones, tassels, killer gams, big eyelashes, new wheels, fishnet-burn from the concrete of our home track, whipping my derby ladies around the track, bruises, ruby-red lipstick, glittery diamonds, shutterbugs, pearls, heels (the higher the heel, the closer to God), gin, doghouse bass, roller derby, subgenius, rockabilly, baking and swing dancing.”
Yowser!
It doesn’t stop there, trend-setters. Amont other things, Elle’s into thrift stores (second-hand shops to us Aussies), zombies, booze (!!), “obscurities and obscenities”.
Fave movies? “Anything with gore, blood, zombies, nudity, mutants, boobs, drugs, nice cars, more blood, disfigured men with machetes, beautiful women, chainsaws or blow torches.”
Her fave TV show is UFC!
And the song playing on her page? Nice Tits by The Blue Demons.
Be still my beating heart…I think I’m in love.

REVIEW: Freaks And Fantasies by Tod Robbins

I RECENTLY read and enjoyed Freaks And Fantasies, edited by Sydney's resident bizarrism expert Chris Mikul.

It features some brilliant short yarns - quintessential early 20th century horror prose - by Tod Robbins, including his original story "Spurs", which inspired Tod Browning's 1932 creepy classic Freaks. “Spurs” is, in fact, much darker than the film.

Other stories I dug were “Wild Wullie The Waster”, “Toys Of Fate” and, especially, “The Confession” (which, frankly, scared the hell out of me).

If you want your to find out more about a forgotten master of fear fiction, then you can buy Freaks And Fantasies from www.ramblehouse.com.